Dining Etiquette. . . ?

I recently came across a fabulous little column at the NY Times called Dear FloFab, a diner's journal on etiquette both at home and when dining out by Florence Fabricant. It's smart, savvy, and a bit snappish. She writes with a hint of haughty elegance that conveys a certain dismay at the fact that today, most restaurant patrons, and home dinner party guests don't have a clue about manners while dining. It's right up my alley.

Seriously, though, what has happened to people's manners as they indulge and imbibe? Is everyone in such a rush to get through the meal that they forget to savor the experience, as well as act like civilized adults?

On the flip side, a little while back, there was a two-part series (also in the Times) written by a restaurateur serving as an instruction guide for restaurants (not the diners this time) on how to conduct themselves properly. It circulated among my foodie friends like wildfire. Just the name of it alone, 100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do set the tone for the piece. These were some of my favorite (I won't even say 'suggestions,' because truly they were really) mandates:

8. Do not interrupt a conversation. For any reason. Especially not to recite specials. Wait for the right moment.
32. Never touch a customer. No excuses. Do not do it. Do not brush them, move them, wipe them or dust them.
78. Do not ask, “Are you still working on that?” Dining is not work — until questions like this are asked.

FloFab expressed a similar view on that last rule as well:

Q. What is the proper response when the waiter asks, “Are you still working on that?”

A. Sigh. I prefer to ignore the question. The waiter usually asks it when it’s not obvious that the entire table has completed a course. If everyone has finished I would probably say, “You may clear the table.” Otherwise perhaps the response should be, “No, we’re still slaving away.”

While that may be a bit over the top, it sure as hell gets the point across! It's a pet peeve of mine that waiters are forever clearing the plate of one member of the table before the others are finished. It creates an unnecessarily awkward situation if the finished diner feels like they devoured their food, while the remaining patron appears slow and may feel the need to rush through the rest.

[As a little sidebar on the topic of waiter etiquette, here's another critique, this time from Jezebel, of waiters who treat the mere act of women ordering dessert- one of my favorite things to do mind you- as naughty and sinister. Guess that makes me a dessert-loving vixen!]

Turning back to the 100 Things piece, while some commenters rejoiced, many others gave the author a lot of flack, claiming his restaurant would surely turn out an uptight and unfriendly venue. Perhaps, but isn't there some common ground here? Can diners and restaurant folks not meet in the middle, and both sides offer up a little common sense and proper etiquette?

This is especially important to consider on a date. Little touches like pulling out a chair, not talking with your mouth full*, or waiting to eat until your date's meal arrives too (if tragically, they are not simultaneously delivered to the table, See #60 above), never fail to impress.

(*One would think this is self-explanatory. I've been on dates before. It's not. FYI, my trick is to say, "Pardon me? I couldn't understand what you were saying just then." If he or she doesn't take the hint, move on to the next one!)

So the next time you're out on a date, put some effort into more than just selecting a romantic location, by also following up with your own class act. A little dining etiquette goes a long way in making a lasting impression.

Hungry For Love NYC Takes a Road Trip!

This weekend, my sweetheart and I took a road trip upstate to the Red Hook/Rhinebeck area of New York. I highly recommend this as a little getaway for anyone looking for a change of pace and scenery from NYC life. Since this is a food-oriented blog, I of course want to focus on some of the delicious meals we ate while up in Red Hook.

As part of our stay at the darling Red Hook Inn, we seized the opportunity to partake in an intimate dining experience with their renowned chef, and co-inn proprietor. The b.f. and I were told to select our dinner entrees the day before our meal, so that Nabil, the chef, could purchase the ingredients that day. Talk about fresh food. When we headed down to dinner, we were delighted to discover that we were the only diners that evening, in a room that seats less than a dozen guests. It was like nothing we'd ever encountered before, a beautiful, but quaint dining room with soft music playing, and romantic candlelight at our table. I couldn't help but compare it to those episodes of Millionaire Matchmaker, where the millionaires reserve the entire restaurant to impress their dates. We were both entranced by the lovely ambiance.

Our first course was a Mediterranean salad with fresh chopped vegetables, seasoned with a delicate yet savory blend of herbs. It was more flavorful that most salads have any right to be. Next, we were served an incredible homemade soup of carrot, parsnip & ginger. Leaning more toward a puree, it was healthy and delicious, particularly demonstrating that you don't need heavy cream bases to win over a soup nut like my sweetie. While we dined, we also indulged in warm bread, and our own bottle of Sauvignon Blanc (byob worked out fantastically).

For the main course, he had chosen the filet mignon au poivre (well done) and I opted for the salmon fillet. I had a lengthy discussion with the chef the day before about possible sauce and seasoning options for the salmon (since I don't care for pesto, their usual offering). We agreed upon a light, tomato based sauce for the fillet. It arrived with couscous, honeyed carrots and asparagus. While I felt that the sauce turned out a little too thick and heavy for the fish, the salmon itself was tasty, as were the other side dishes. My b.f. happily devoured his steak, cooked just as he requested.

Finally delivered to our table, was, in my opinion, one of the best parts of the meal, the dessert. Homemade warm apple pie accompanied by homemade vanilla ice cream. I was in heaven. The apples were moist and the crust was flaky, and the whole dish melted into my mouth much too quickly.

Overall it was a wonderful dinner, expressed in both the quality of the food, the attention to details, and the attentive service throughout the meal.

I can't conclude this post without a nod to the breakfast upon which we feasted the next morning. Most bed & breakfasts offer some sort of standard spread for their guests, perhaps muffins, toast, croissants, coffee and the like. We never expected to first be escorted out to the backyard by the chef who pointed out the hens which had produced our forthcoming eggs. Now, I find that omelets can often be hit or miss, too loose and falling apart, or so well done that the edges appear charred. I love to enjoy a firm, but gooey-insided egg white omelet. Nabil whipped up two savory egg white omelets with a little American cheese and some of the same vegetables and herbs we relished the night before. The result was just as indulgently flavorful as our dinner.

The bottom line is, if you're looking for a quaint yet elegant b&b to enjoy a weekend getaway, check out the Red Hook Inn. Besides the delicious meals, we also loved our room (spring for Room 5- it's definitely worth it), as well as the private outdoor hot tub. Pat and Nabil are so attentive and thoughtful, I highly recommend this inn.

Finally, two other worthwhile restaurants in the area are the charming Tavern at the Beekman Arms- connected to the oldest inn in America! Historic and a pretty decent brunch. I enjoyed my french toast with cinnamon and sugar, while he had another delicious omelet. We also had dinner at a new restaurant in Rhinebeck called Arielle. More French/Provençal than Mediterranean (as it tends to be described), but a rather unique experience nonetheless. I adventurously tried the 'forage' plate appetizer: herbs and vegetables gathered locally by the Culinary Institute of America students. Certainly different! The pasta pomodoro was fresh and authentic tasting. Plus, like many of the local attractions, the atmosphere was both rustic and romantic. Both restaurants are set right in the heart of Rhinebeck, a very pretty area to explore as well.

Bon Appetit & Happy Travels!