Dating, On a Diet

Let me start my saying that I believe this story to be true, as it was told to me directly by the person to whom it happened. However, the more it gets re-told- and believe me, it does- the more it develops into the stuff of NYC Urban Dating Legend.

Boy meets a nice-seeming girl on a very popular dating website. They hit it off and arranged a first date, settling on a Mediterranean style restaurant. Like many NYC venues, it was cozy, with the tables set close together. As the waiter comes over, the young lady immediately asks for extra plates and a new set of silverware, which she thoroughly wipes upon their arrival. They proceed to order an array of food to share, including various salads, pita bread, rice and the like.

When the meal arrives, the girl pulls out of her previously ordinary-looking, mild-mannered handbag, a... wait for it.... Weight Watchers scale and a set of measuring spoons. Yes. Really. She then begins to scoop out portions of the different foods, and carefully weighs them on the scale, before depositing them onto the extra plates. This continues for several minutes, while the guy just observes, quite stunned at the spectacle before him, because his female companion has offered no explanation or commentary to accompany her actions. Not only is the guy watching, but at the table next to them, two men on a date are equally mesmerized by the weigh-in session taking place. Once she finishes her measuring, the young woman excuses herself briefly to the ladies' room. Our gentleman friend is flabbergasted to say the least. Is this how women act on a date these days, he wonders to himself. Then, unexpectedly, one of the men to his side leans over and asks, "Where'd you find this one?" The guy replies, naming the dating site. "Ahh," the men respond, knowingly. "Have you considered coming over to our side?"

As you may have guessed, this was their first, and only, date.

What is the moral of this story you ask? First of all, Don't Do This!! Ok, phew, that's over with. Now let's get down to business. There are plenty of ways to maintain a healthy and fit lifestyle while dating happily. If Superman could disguise himself as Clark Kent with the simple assistance of a pair of Foster Grants, you can date and diet simultaneously.

Maybe you can squeeze in a work out before the date, or first thing the next morning. Or try eating a lighter lunch, if you know you hope to share a dessert with your new sweetie that night.

When you're on the date itself, some good healthy food options include:

Sushi (try Momoya for fresh food & outstanding service, or Natsumi where you can enjoy a pre-dinner cocktail in their romantic lounge area)

Vegetarian/Vegan (delicious Wild Ginger has 2 inviting locations, while adventurous diners might enjoy the upscale, raw Pure Food and Wine)

Tapas (share sangria and small, yet satisfying dishes at Sol y Sombra, or revel in the glittery chandeliers overhead while you dine at Pipa)

Now, let's step back and look at the bigger lesson here. When you go on a date with someone, especially a first date, you don't have to reveal everything there is to know about you right up front. Hold back on some details about yourself, and save those crazy stories that your close friends love about you for a bit later. Why not let a little mystery and intrigue pervade the air?

Some examples?

• You have an older brother who lives in Washington, D.C.? Great! He's married to a controlling harpy who ruined your parents' anniversary party last spring by boozily toasting your father and his mistress? Not so good.

• You're in charge of a big project at work that you're really proud of? Lovely. When you finish the project you're going to rub it in the face of those good-for-nothing colleagues who couldn't even be bothered to ask if you wanted to join them for lunch and... Maybe not.

It's not only important to be upbeat on dates, but it's perfectly acceptable, and in fact better, to be a little discreet at the beginning of a relationship. That's not to say that you shouldn't be yourself and share things with your date. But there's plenty of time to let the getting to know one another part of the relationship unfold. That's the fun of it, discovering what makes your mate tick. And it works both ways. You'll want to learn more about your date, and he or she will be intrigued by all the things you haven't said yet.

So try it out for yourself. Give your dating style its own diet, and hold off on some details about yourself, for a few more dates anyway. Maybe then, you can pull out your own Weight Watchers scale.