Granola Bars & Gut Instincts

One thing I've learned over the years about dating is that sometimes a guy or girl you are not so crazy about can do something sweet or considerate for you, and you can't help but feel completely horrified, indifferent, or just put off by it as sickeningly saccharine. But a different guy or girl, who you're feeling "into," does something the slightest bit nice, or even kinda wacky, and you find yourself mesmerized, excited and wowed. What's the difference, you may wonder? Chemistry, plain and simple. An important part of dating is trusting your gut instincts, and recognizing when there is that certain spark between you and your dating partner. Here's an example:

A few years ago, I had just started dating this nice young man. He was a bit quirky, true, but he was also smart and funny. One day he was at my apartment and ravenously hungry. Never one to be lacking snacks in my own home, I offered him a granola bar out of a brand-new box which was meant to serve as my week's worth of workday treats. The next thing I knew, he had gobbled down almost the entire box of bars. I was a little peeved, but seeing that he was genuinely, and even neurotically, apologetic, I decided to let it go.

The next day, he called me up at work, and said he had something to deliver from his office to mine, which was actually located down the street. I had no idea what to expect, and was intrigued as to what it could be that required him to messenger it over personally. A few minutes later, there was an urgent knock at the door to my corridor. I opened it, and observed my gentleman caller, standing there in the doorway. He quickly thrust a bulky inter-office envelope into my arms, and called over his shoulder, "Sorry, I've got to run back to a meeting!" as he dashed away. Now my curiosity was fully piqued. I opened the official looking package, and found inside a colorful gift-wrapped box with a bow and all. Tearing into the paper, I unveiled ... a new box of granola bars. I started to laugh so hard that tears were running down my face. Now that was quite an impression.

As I recounted the story over and over to my amused friends, I thought about how, if I had not already been interested in this guy and feeling a connection to him, that anecdote would have quickly evolved from a sweet story instead into one of mild dating horror. "What??" my skeptical friends would exclaim. "He tracked you down at work and showed up with some weird wrapped up box of granola bars?! What a nut job!" However, because I already thought he was charming in an unconventional sort of way, his little stunt was right up my alley. I later learned that he not only sought out the exact type of granola bars I had sacrificed to his growling stomach, but had them professionally wrapped in a gift shop to present them to me in their full and deserving glory. The excitement in his voice was both clearly evident as well as contagious as he described his quest.

Looking back, I'm glad I gave that nice, eccentric guy a chance, because you can't fake chemistry between two people, nor can you create it out of thin air. The bottom line is, you might not be able to change whether you are attracted to, or intrigued by someone. But one way you may realize that you are, is if you find yourself over the moon about the quirky little things that they do for you. And a chance at that kind of creative and fun relationship is worth all the granola bars in my pantry.