I recently came across a fabulous little column at the NY Times called Dear FloFab, a diner's journal on etiquette both at home and when dining out by Florence Fabricant. It's smart, savvy, and a bit snappish. She writes with a hint of haughty elegance that conveys a certain dismay at the fact that today, most restaurant patrons, and home dinner party guests don't have a clue about manners while dining. It's right up my alley.
Seriously, though, what has happened to people's manners as they indulge and imbibe? Is everyone in such a rush to get through the meal that they forget to savor the experience, as well as act like civilized adults?
On the flip side, a little while back, there was a two-part series (also in the Times) written by a restaurateur serving as an instruction guide for restaurants (not the diners this time) on how to conduct themselves properly. It circulated among my foodie friends like wildfire. Just the name of it alone, 100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do set the tone for the piece. These were some of my favorite (I won't even say 'suggestions,' because truly they were really) mandates:
8. Do not interrupt a conversation. For any reason. Especially not to recite specials. Wait for the right moment.
32. Never touch a customer. No excuses. Do not do it. Do not brush them, move them, wipe them or dust them.
78. Do not ask, “Are you still working on that?” Dining is not work — until questions like this are asked.
FloFab expressed a similar view on that last rule as well:
Turning back to the 100 Things piece, while some commenters rejoiced, many others gave the author a lot of flack, claiming his restaurant would surely turn out an uptight and unfriendly venue. Perhaps, but isn't there some common ground here? Can diners and restaurant folks not meet in the middle, and both sides offer up a little common sense and proper etiquette?
This is especially important to consider on a date. Little touches like pulling out a chair, not talking with your mouth full*, or waiting to eat until your date's meal arrives too (if tragically, they are not simultaneously delivered to the table, See #60 above), never fail to impress.
(*One would think this is self-explanatory. I've been on dates before. It's not. FYI, my trick is to say, "Pardon me? I couldn't understand what you were saying just then." If he or she doesn't take the hint, move on to the next one!)
So the next time you're out on a date, put some effort into more than just selecting a romantic location, by also following up with your own class act. A little dining etiquette goes a long way in making a lasting impression.
Seriously, though, what has happened to people's manners as they indulge and imbibe? Is everyone in such a rush to get through the meal that they forget to savor the experience, as well as act like civilized adults?
On the flip side, a little while back, there was a two-part series (also in the Times) written by a restaurateur serving as an instruction guide for restaurants (not the diners this time) on how to conduct themselves properly. It circulated among my foodie friends like wildfire. Just the name of it alone, 100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do set the tone for the piece. These were some of my favorite (I won't even say 'suggestions,' because truly they were really) mandates:
8. Do not interrupt a conversation. For any reason. Especially not to recite specials. Wait for the right moment.
32. Never touch a customer. No excuses. Do not do it. Do not brush them, move them, wipe them or dust them.
78. Do not ask, “Are you still working on that?” Dining is not work — until questions like this are asked.
FloFab expressed a similar view on that last rule as well:
Q. What is the proper response when the waiter asks, “Are you still working on that?”
A. Sigh. I prefer to ignore the question. The waiter usually asks it when it’s not obvious that the entire table has completed a course. If everyone has finished I would probably say, “You may clear the table.” Otherwise perhaps the response should be, “No, we’re still slaving away.”
While that may be a bit over the top, it sure as hell gets the point across! It's a pet peeve of mine that waiters are forever clearing the plate of one member of the table before the others are finished. It creates an unnecessarily awkward situation if the finished diner feels like they devoured their food, while the remaining patron appears slow and may feel the need to rush through the rest.
[As a little sidebar on the topic of waiter etiquette, here's another critique, this time from Jezebel, of waiters who treat the mere act of women ordering dessert- one of my favorite things to do mind you- as naughty and sinister. Guess that makes me a dessert-loving vixen!]
While that may be a bit over the top, it sure as hell gets the point across! It's a pet peeve of mine that waiters are forever clearing the plate of one member of the table before the others are finished. It creates an unnecessarily awkward situation if the finished diner feels like they devoured their food, while the remaining patron appears slow and may feel the need to rush through the rest.
[As a little sidebar on the topic of waiter etiquette, here's another critique, this time from Jezebel, of waiters who treat the mere act of women ordering dessert- one of my favorite things to do mind you- as naughty and sinister. Guess that makes me a dessert-loving vixen!]
Turning back to the 100 Things piece, while some commenters rejoiced, many others gave the author a lot of flack, claiming his restaurant would surely turn out an uptight and unfriendly venue. Perhaps, but isn't there some common ground here? Can diners and restaurant folks not meet in the middle, and both sides offer up a little common sense and proper etiquette?
This is especially important to consider on a date. Little touches like pulling out a chair, not talking with your mouth full*, or waiting to eat until your date's meal arrives too (if tragically, they are not simultaneously delivered to the table, See #60 above), never fail to impress.
(*One would think this is self-explanatory. I've been on dates before. It's not. FYI, my trick is to say, "Pardon me? I couldn't understand what you were saying just then." If he or she doesn't take the hint, move on to the next one!)
So the next time you're out on a date, put some effort into more than just selecting a romantic location, by also following up with your own class act. A little dining etiquette goes a long way in making a lasting impression.
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